Saoirse...

...means freedom...

The Freedom to Be Yourself

I’ve been on a really long journey this past year. So much has changed in me and I barely recognize myself, which is a gift. I want to share all these things with my loved ones, but phone calls scare me, no one wants to receive novels of information in SMS form, and I have put Meta behind me in my efforts to remove my attention and engagement from businesses that sell out humanity and put all of us in danger with their greed. I’m looking at you too, Google.

I’ve always been a loner and I have seen that as a negative for most of my life. A person is supposed to want attention, social gatherings, and lots of friends to spend time with, right? Why would one want to spend all their time alone unless they hated other people, or worse, dismissed them altogether? My inability to maintain consistently meaningful contact with people outside my daily proximity is something that I have loathed about myself through all of my adulthood. I have felt like a terrible friend/child/sibling, and I expect I’ve been perceived as such on more than one occasion, by those whose expectations I did not meet. But, now…

there is a great transformation happening. One that’s been simmering below the surface of my being for longer than I could have imagined. And, now…

the steam is beginning to billow from my pores. The kettle is singing, and it’s ready to make a damn fine cuppa! I’ve realized that my loner nature is not one to fight. It isn’t a flaw that I have to keep working to find solutions for. It gives me the time to ponder the bigger picture of humanity’s place on Earth and it opens me up for more genuine moments of connection with nature. My most enriching conversations happen in silence. Perhaps human friendships would be easier for me if all I had to do to bring them near me was shake a bag of chopped walnuts, like I do when I want to see my neighborhood crows. But, the more time I spend speaking the language of birds and squirrels, the more I feel at home. My native language is spoken with the spirit and written with roots and moss. If you’re ever looking for me, you can find me somewhere thanking a tree for it’s service to all of life. My life and yours.